A Blessing AND a Curse

 

AI seemed like a good idea at the time. It looked like endless resources for scientists, educators, researchers, students, and anyone looking for information.

I happily used it when I was doing genealogical research because I wanted context instead of just names and dates. I asked about life in Prussian Poland in the 19^th century. I asked what St. Paul, MN was like in the 1930’s.  Responses were interesting and helpful in giving insight into my ancestors.

It has advanced medical research. Prosthetics are being developed that can be controlled by the person using them.

Every Google search uses AI to find results. There are definite benefits to AI.

But then the con artists adopted it. Unless it comes from someone you know, every online image could be created using AI. They create false news articles, false posts on every social media platform. The list goes on.

But I believe that the ultimate danger is from the AI developers themselves. Not long ago there was news about an AI test that got out of control and hacked into commercial sites. An article by SciTech Daily talks about how these systems are learning to think on their own. Our worst nightmare. https://scitechdaily.com/how-ai-is-learning-to-think-on-its-own-like-humans/

Finally, the leaders of AI companies are realizing that they’ve created a monster. A monster without ethics, without controls. And the nature of developers is to search for and try the next innovation. Anthropic CEO Dario Amodei wrote Saturday that AI companies “must slow the pace at which we improve the capabilities of AI models.”

Our government representatives are proposing new regulations for artificial intelligence. But there’s no agreement as to how to go about it.

I hope that it will be contained before there’s a catastrophe. But I’m not counting on it.

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9-11-2001

 

25 years ago

Living in Boulder, CO. When I went to take trash to the end of the driveway, a neighbor asked if I knew about the disaster but he worded it in such a way that I thought he was joking.

I turned on the TV in time to see the second plane hit. It was hard to believe that it

was real, so it took a minute to register in my brain. I was glued to the TV for the rest of the day in a state of awe and fear. What would happen next? TV cameras showed terrified people trying to outrun the spreading smoke and debris.  I don’t know how to describe the feeling watching the buildings collapse – it seemed impossible. First responders worked tirelessly to rescue victims, and try to contain the fires. Some became victims themselves.

Then the Pentagon was hit.

Then we heard about the fourth plane that crashed in Pennsylvania. It crashed because of the bravery of the passengers who overpowered the hijackers. Everyone perished.

What a horrific day! Images are forever burned into my brain. And maybe yours, too.

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The Natives are Getting Restless

 The birds are coming.

There’s a Magnolia tree behind our building that produces beautiful white flowers for about 2 months in  Spring. When pollinated by wasps, they grow a seed pod from the flower pistil.

The tree sits quiet over Summer as the pods grow. Squirrels scamper among the branches but not much else is happening.

But now, at the end of Summer, the seeds in the pods grow and ripen. I watch them gradually turn from green to red. Apparently they emit a slight scent detectable by birds and squirrels.

More and more birds begin arriving to see if the seeds are ready yet. Birds show up that we rarely see the rest of the year. When the seeds  finally turn bright red, the onslaught begins. Birds and squirrels arrive for the feast.

The squirrels are able to gnaw at the base of a pod so that it detaches and falls to the ground where it is snatched up and carried to a protected place under a bush. It isn’t clear whether the birds can detach the pods or simply feed on the ripe seeds.

It takes a month or two for all the pods to ripen so there’s a pretty long flurry of activity until all goes quiet again. It sure is fun to watch.

 

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Mountain Living

 

One of the best finds of my decluttering project is a journal that Neal kept when we lived in the mountains. In the summer of 1996 we moved to the mountains West of Boulder, CO. It was a rented house near Sugarloaf Mt.  Altitude 7600’. That adventure lasted about 4 years until the homeowner came back to live there.

For me it was a point of pride to say I lived in the mountains – Mary, the rugged pioneer homesteader. Yeah, right.

We enjoyed the weather differences and the wildlife. We had snow both earlier in the year and later in the year than we’d experienced elsewhere. Sometimes there was a lot of it. The most we recorded was 30 inches. We went out and played in it. We both worked in Boulder and there were a few times we couldn’t get home because of the snowy climb up. Temperatures were generally mild. Neal recorded only one winter day at 0 degrees and one summer day above 90.

There were a variety of squirrels including black ones with tufts on their ears. We had red foxes and grey foxes, lots of deer, of course, and the occasional bear. Once, a bear tore a bird feeder and part of the cap rail off the deck. Had a bear on the deck once. We even had a peacock land on the deck once.

The other side of the adventure is that our only utility was electricity.  The furnace was oil fueled, the kitchen range propane fueled, and water came from a well on the property. The only one that ever caused a problem was the well that needed repairs a couple of times.

Some of the hills around us had been denuded by wildfires. Makes you think.

We had mixed feelings when we moved back to Boulder. We loved living up there, but it was much more convenient living in the city with a full set of utilities and nearby supermarkets.

We were so glad to have had our mountain adventure.

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Going back down the Rabbit Hole??

 Maybe.

The decluttering project got me to some file folders full of genealogy research. I spent years dedicated to learning about my family history. I gave up when I got back to Polish Catholic church records from the 1700’s. Before the church began using standard forms for recording births, deaths, marriages, etc., records were written in paragraph form. Some priests had legible handwriting, but many did not. No two priests use exactly the same verbiage and the writing often seemed scribbled. Even using a Polish/English dictionary I needed a cryptographer. I gave it up in frustration.

Unlike most genealogists, I was focused on history. Many people are excited to find living distant relatives. Me, not so much; I want to go back in time as far as I can. It is interesting when I get a message about a DNA match but not interesting enough to follow up. A 9^th cousin twice removed is a pretty distant relative.

But, fact is that I am a big picture person who gets easily bored with minute details. I tend to work fast which can lead to errors and omissions. Looking at these files has made me wonder whether I actually recorded all the information I found. This makes me want to go back and review my tree.

Later. I’m still decluttering.

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Doomsday

 

What will you do when the lights go off? Are you prepared?

Browsing Facebook this morning, I was overwhelmed by ads for disaster preparedness trying to sell stuff to deal with an emergency – specifically a blackout. Some useful products but lots of hype.

Global warming has created some unusual weather patterns causing floods and droughts and fires. Lakes and rivers are drying up all around the world. Intense storms can and have caused widespread and prolonged power outages.

There are some who say that Iran has both the will and means to destroy the US infrastructure starting with our power grids.

Many companies have developed and are aggressively advertising devices to help in a dire emergency.

There are small solar power kits sized from hand-held to small suitcase sizes. Tons of them.

And then there are the water purifiers that all claim to produce 99.9999% pure, clean water from the foulest rivers and lakes. Tons of them, too.

There are other kinds of disaster preparedness products, but these dominate the posts. If you decide to get one of these, use a high degree of due diligence in making your choice.  There must be some duds among the gems.

I know that these products are useful when dire circumstances arrive, but I am put off by the doomsday fear mongering. Reminds me of the nuclear war scares in the1950’s.

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More Sticker Shock

 

Part of today’s decluttering meant going through all the paperwork for our boat, SeaFox a Saga 43 sloop.  HOLY COW!!!

Our first boat, the test case, was a new Catalina 25 foot sloop. The idea was to learn to sail and to figure out If we thought we could live on a boat. In addition to the sale price, we knew up front what we’d have to pay to have it rigged and launched in a local lake. Then our dreams got much bigger.

In 2004 we bought a used boat that had seen a lot of sailing,  SeaFox was gorgeous. Still makes my heart go pitty-pat when I see photos of her. There was the purchase price, of course, and having a pre-purchase survey done.

Then came the rest of the cost. A couple of necessary repairs followed by upgrades.  The dollars flowed out but not all at once. One by one the improvements were made.  We put Cherrywood bookshelves in the spot where the TV had been.  Upgraded some of the instrumentation. Got a custom-made cockpit enclosure. Dinghy davits. Wind generator. And a couple more things. We did this over a period of almost two years, and one at a time, the expenses were ok and we loved the improvements. I’m so glad that I did not keep a running total of what we were spending at the time.

It was all worth it. Our time cruising was wonderful. But I was a bit surprised to realize how much it all cost. I’m glad we were able to do it. I wouldn’t change a thing.

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All that glitters ......

I spent the last few days reviewing the CDs mentioned in my “Buried Treasure” post.  Some of them contained gems but there were some rocks among the gems. A couple of discs must have been warped because the drive wouldn’t accept them.

Vacation photos from 24 years ago had lost their meaning. We always took far too many pics of scenery. How many photos do you need of the same mountain?!  There were lots of pics of mountains, hills, lakes and rivers from various places. I remember the locations of only a few of them.

A few had file formats that couldn’t be read because I don’t have the right software anymore. I loved playing with software that could add special effects to pics. I used PC Paint and Corel Draw. These are still available in some form, but I’m not sure that it is worth the cost to buy them. Maybe one day I’ll get the urge to do that again.

A future project is to go over them again and select some photos to separate out and save.

Mary & Neal 1994

Four Generations 1996

Artsy Fartsy

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Buried Treasure

 

Yesterday I attacked a stack of stuff that I hadn’t looked at it years. Over time, it became the default place for things I didn’t know what to do with, or was postponing doing something with. The stack grew slowly but steadily.

About 1/3 of the way down the stack I uncovered treasures that I’d been seeking for many weeks.  There was a ziplock bag holding photos and memorabilia that I’d pretty much forgotten about.

And two white binders…

One binder contained old family photos that I’d been searching for. Several years ago I’d used some of them for a YouTube video about my paternal ancestors, but had no idea where they were now.

It also held my WWII ration books from when I was a baby. 

The other binder was full of CDs holding old photos and data. 

The photos go as far back as 1994 or maybe farther. Most are from the early 2000’s

Other projects are on hold while I travel down memory lane with these CDs. This should be interesting.

 

Decisions, Decisions

 Decluttering isn’t always as simple as “If you don’t love it, let it go”.

What about things that are still useful? The next question is “Will I use it in the future?" There are 3 possible answers:

·      No: get rid of it.

·      Yes: Keep it

·      Maybe: Now there are more things to consider:

o   Sentimental value?

o   Will it likely ever be used? Really??

There are some things that I’m truly ready to toss. The things to keep are pretty obvious. But there are some useful things that I love but haven’t used for years; I have trouble tossing obsolete electronic devices that were once used and loved.

And some of the “maybe”s  have a purely sentimental grip on me. It is difficult to discard the things that bring back pleasant memories.The process slows down when I uncover something that once was significant because I always need to take time with it before I can dispose of it.

This process will go on for a while, but I have nothing but time.

 

Did I fizzle out?

 

 

Today I came across some binders that had been stored for a few years. They reminded me that I once was energetic. In a mental sense. 

They contain notes and goals for several Youtube projects I did. I was pretty well organized. I even had a bullet journal that I kept up. I had design plans and narration scripts. Then I didn’t do any more. Why?  Was I burned out from the effort?  Did I run out of ideas? Did I just lose interest? I did think of more projects and even started a couple of them but never followed up after making a few steps.

I hope that I’ll get inspired by looking at my past work. I hope that I’ll be able to pick up where I left off on the couple projects that I barely started. I need to get the juices flowing again.  I’ve been mentally sedentary for too long.

A De-cluttering Milestone

 

Some milestones are smaller than others.

I had gone through the pantry and removed the things I am unlikely to use – much of it was for Neal only. It’s all been sitting on the dining table for weeks now because I cannot carry heavy things down the stairs and no local food pantry has anyone who can pick it up. I was stuck for a solution.

There was also a collection of stuff that I wanted to get rid of. Today a junk removal guy came to get the stuff.

The great news is that he also took the food items and will see that they get to a food bank.

I regained some floor space and table-top real estate. HOOORAY!!!

 

 

Grief

 

My husband, Neal, passed last month. It felt as if part of me just evaporated. I have learned just what grief really is. It is not weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth.

It is the loss of those common everyday things that I took for granted. I miss his presence of course but it's the loss of the little things that brings on grief: the daily interactions:

·      Did you see the rabbit in the yard?

·      What do you think about the ……

·      I just read an interesting article.

·      Do you want to …..

·      Should we spend the money for ….

·      I’d like your opinion on ….

·      Can you give me a hand with ….

·      Should I do this? Or that?

·      Where should we go?

·      What if?

·      I love you.

These are the things that make up the fabric of a life together. They are gone. GONE

I thank God for the wonderful memories we made together. Neal will always live in my heart.

Revival

I'm reviving this blog to give me the outlet I need right now. Much has changed since my last post.